Quiet My Soul

Morning Psalm 42

1   As a deer longs for flowing streams,
          so my soul longs for you, O God.
2   My soul thirsts for God,
          for the living God.
     When shall I come and behold
          the face of God?
3   My tears have been my food
          day and night,
     while people say to me continually,
          “Where is your God?”

11  Why are you cast down, O my soul,
          and why are you disquieted within me?
     Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
          my help and my God.

And now we wait.  The last chemo was June 28 and we should be celebrating.  We wait for another PET scan to show us if my husband still has cancer.  He is feeling better, looks good, and I am hopeful that he will soon be strong again, but I can’t shake the “disquiet” in my soul.

We are grateful for a good life, caring children and loving grandchildren.  We are “comfortable” and not in need of anything, but. . . a clean scan.  Even with a clean scan, will I be worry-free?  Probably not—I will be waiting for the next scan—waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I feel battered like a ship in a storm.  The storm has moved on, but I feel damaged as I head into the port.  Will I be strong enough to withstand another storm?  What I need is peace and only I can find that, with God’s help. 

God, please give me strength and peace to navigate the troubled waters of life.  Make me strong enough to weather the next storm.  Quiet my soul.  You are bigger than the storms in my life.  Thank you for the gift of writing which helps me heal.  Thank you for our friends, family and church who are the lifeboats.  In Your name I pray. Amen.

JaclynMorgan

Photo by Torsten Dederichs on Unsplash