Advent Calendar of Memories

Many years ago, when our children were young, my older sister started an advent tradition. For the special people in her life, she took remnants of fabric, about a yard by a yard folded over the top about 2 inches (enough to run a simple cafe curtain rod through), then sewed 25 pockets of different sizes (made out of other fabric remnants) onto the fabric.  The result was a very large colorful advent calendar that she gave each of her siblings for their families, our parents, our honorary grandmother, and other special people in her life as well as having one for her own family.   Each year, she would collect up small inexpensive (often marketing freebie) items during the year, to wrap and put in the pockets. For those of us with small children, the items would be things like pens that wrote in 3 colors of ink, Hershey kisses, peppermint sticks, magnifying glasses, small toys and other trinkets that delight a small child. (And she would ensure that there were 2 of each item, so each child got something each night).  For elderly friends, she put in kleenix, lip balm, hand cream, fancy napkins, and other necessities and small luxuries for people on a tight budget. For each advent calendar, her family would put together over the year a large jigsaw puzzle, then take it apart in small sections (about 3x4 in square) and put those pieces in a small plastic bag, then wrap each bag of pieces and add them to the other gifts. (A small child is overwhelmed by a 1000 piece puzzle, but if they know they can put together small sections of the puzzle and then put the sections together, its no longer daunting, and by Christmas the puzzle would be complete).

Over the years, there were a few times when Lida’s package didn’t arrive by Dec 1st and I would have to find things to fill the pockets until it did, because my sons KNEW, that they were supposed to be opening a package each night.  On Christmas morning when they opened the last Advent gift (typically a nice ornament for the tree that was for the whole family), they knew Christmas had arrived.  Later, on Christmas Day, when asked who had given them what, they seldom knew, but they ALWAYS knew the gifts from Aunt Lida.

As our children all got older and left home, and Lida’s job changed to one where she traveled a lot, she would do themed advent calendars for her siblings and her children (who each had their own advent calendar at that piont) - small shells from a trip to  the beach, angels, small token items from the different places she had traveled to that year - spices for Texas Chili, bookmarks from museums, teabags from a special tea shop, coasters from an interesting restaurant, etc.

A couple years ago, as she neared 70, she finally became a grandmother (4 little ones within 18 months of each other), and at that point stopped sending the advent calendar gifts to her siblings and focused instead on making them for her children and grandchildren.

This year, Lida and I joined our sister Pat for a sister’s week in Carlsbad CA, after Thanksgiving. On Dec 1st, Lida started getting texts and emails from her 3 grown children, because the advent gifts for their calendars hadn’t arrived. Lida got upset as she realized that with the health problems she and her husband have had over the past year, she hadn’t done anything about the advent calendar gifts for this year.  She finally decided that, with her husband’s help, once she got back home from her trip to California, she would go shopping and get this years Advent gifts and send them, even if they were late.

Thinking Lida didn’t need that kind of stress when she got back, I started sending out daily pictures of Lida enjoying herself on the trip with us and labeling them as “Advent Memories” - Lida walking on the beach, looking at animals at the zoo, doing Soduko, and just doing everyday things.  The day I headed back to St Louis, I sent sent everyone in the family an email stating:

“As I’m sure all of you have surmised, the theme of this year’s Advent Calendar isn’t seashells, or angels or recent trips, but rather my beautiful, vibrant, fun loving, sister Lida.  It is also a year for an interactive advent calendar. This means that while Pat and I have done the first week, each of you now get a week to send the rest of us something every day. It can be a current or past picture of Lida, something that makes you think of Lida, something you think Lida would enjoy, or a memory of something you did with Lida. It can also be something you are grateful for that involves Lida.

Lida has spent over 30 years creating Advent Calendars for the rest of us, now its our turn to create one for her.

Pat & I did week one.  Peter, you get week 2.  Stephen week 3. Elise week 4. Ron, you get to finish it off.  In addition, everyone can send out something at any time, regardless of whether or not it is their week to be in charge of the calendar. Just think of it in the same light as your day to cook dinner for the family when you were growing up.

So far the memory Advent Calendar has been a success, and Lida’s son Peter has continued sending out pictures and memories each day. I’m hoping that at the end of Dec, we can compile the pictures and written memories into a small booklet for Lida, one that her children and grandchildren will have to remember her by years from now when she is no longer with them.

Dale Weir

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash