SARS. COVID-19. Vivianna’s life right now is bookended by these deadly diseases. 2003 was the year she joined our family. 2020 is her senior year in high school. Both events should be happy ones, filled with preparation and celebration. Yet, doubt and lack of control clouded her adoption process and now overshadows her senior year.
In the spring of 2003 John and I anxiously awaited news of the baby in China who would be our daughter. We had waited a year and were expecting to be “next in line” to get the paperwork telling us we were “matched” with a baby girl. I wrote daily in a journal about our wait and throughout March and April the worry about SARS in China dominated my thoughts. I held off writing about SARS because I prayed it would soon go away. On April 25, 2003, I wrote about my fears. “This is supposed to be a time of joyous anticipation and excitement for us, but it has become clouded by uncertainty and fear. Please let us be able to travel to get our daughter!”
Then on May 15, 2003, news arrived that China’s Center for Adoption Affairs would not send out any confirmation letters to parents until SARS was under control. No one knew how long that might be – weeks, months, even longer?
May 15, 2003 – “We pray that we will not have to wait much longer to be a family, but we will continue to wait…Pray for all those in China affected by SARS, the people taking care of the sick, and most especially our children. We pray that they are safe and healthy and that they will soon be united with their families who already love them very much.”
Finally, after several months of worrying about SARS and our daughter, we received the news on June 26 that Mei Xiu Li was waiting for us in Wuchuan, Guangdong Province. That was a little scary to think about because that province was the epicenter of SARS. We never learned how that might have impacted her or the foster family who took care of her. Still so many unknowns about Vivi’s early life.
Vivi was unaware of the scary and deadly disease that paralyzed her birth country, or our worry about getting her safely home, or the lingering health concerns about traveling to an area recovering from SARS. It wasn’t until late August that we were finally able to travel to China. Since Vivi had unknown health and developmental issues, we found ourselves in hospitals that had recently been filled with SARS patients.
Now, in 2020, Vivi’s life is once again impacted by a similar disease – COVID-19. It’s her senior year in high school. She may not know the significance of this year, but I had wanted it to be special. I wanted her to take part in the graduation ceremony with the rest of her Parkway West class of 2020. I know so many seniors and their parents are grieving now for the senior year they have lost. I should perhaps be grateful that Vivi doesn’t really understand what she will be missing. But, I can’t help but think about how much she has already missed out on that other students her age have experienced. Being able to wear a graduation robe and walk across the stage was going to be one milestone she could take part in with other students.
While she doesn’t know that she’s missing out on a traditional milestone, she does know that things are different and she misses her school, her teachers, her classmates and the routine of daily high school life. What she doesn’t understand is that something abstract, a deadly virus, has forever changed her life, and that her life was changed by another virus, SARS, when she was a baby. What hasn’t changed is our love for her and a fierce determination to protect and keep her safe. Just as we got through the turmoil and uncertainty of her adoption and early years, we as a family will get through this new challenge.
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